Never doubt!

I have learned in the last week that no matter what happens don't ever doubt!  I stepped on the scale yesterday and I was at 259!!  I have broke through that 260 mark and I couldn't be happier.  The bummer of it all is now I have to deal with my baby having a cold but compared to each other the cold ain't so bad.  I also went jean shopping yesterday with my best friend and thank god for her because she sat with Aaron while I went and shopped.

I have to hand it to the wonderful women at Lane Bryant in Bolingbrook without them I wouldn't have been able to see myself in the size that I bought!  First things first sizes I was a size 26 pants and a 30/32 shirt for the most part but it always depends on the cut of the piece.  I see myself as a pear shape and I carry most of my weight in my stomach.  I think the hardest part of putting on a new pair of jeans is seeing the person that I have become and not the person that I was.  It's hard not to see myself at 330lbs instead of 259lbs.  So like I said I have to hand it to the women at Lane Bryant who convinced me to try on a size 20 when I thought I was a size 22 and the most shocking part that I FIT into a size 20! I ended up buying two new size 20 pairs of jeans and what I enjoy most about them was how fitted they were.  They really compliment my skinny legs and even accent places that I never thought needed accenting. So here I sit in my new jeans confident (ok semi-confident) that I look good.

The difficult part of yesterday was lunch at chili's with my BFF.  I ordered soup and salad and maybe had 6 bites between the two and no matter what I did nothing helped. Usually I have no problems especially with soup but yesterday was a problem.  I at one point said to my friend that the hardest part of living with the band is you really miss sometimes the foods you no longer can eat.  In my life french fries and the reason I say that is because there were two women eating in the booth across the way from us both eating french fries and I found out that is something that I truly miss a lot.  When I think of all the foods I can't eat anymore I get a little depressed but then I think of my babykins that I did this for in the first place and I look at it as something that I can live without.  While I struggle daily with the life that I chose I see that baby and know that I did it all for him and his little brother or sister that will at some point come into our lives (no not pregnant currently).  For that it makes this whole journey a whole lot more worth it!